Dating Trends for the New Year

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What’s trending in dating in 2019? With a well-formed sense of who you are and what you want in a relationship, as part of the dating crowd, you’re learning what it takes to form genuine, loving, healthy, romantic partnerships. Singles are taking control of their love lives and moving on based on instincts and outward signs, not dragging things out when it doesn’t work out.

 

Conscious Dating

With help of virtual technology (a.k.a, the internet), singles are being more authentic with one another. You are learning to get past disillusionment, superficiality, fake flattery, and at the same time, avoid being excessively picky and judgmental.

Online dating has been around for years now and more and more singles are testing it out. The lonely hearts club image of internet matchmaking has been pretty much eradicated. But the ability to remain somewhat anonymous still sets singles up for potential danger, scams, and heartbreaking scenarios.

It seems like more dating apps are focusing on getting singles to meet, get past the endless messaging and shopping mentality. Users are being coaxed into having more intentional dating goals rather than blowing through profiles like they’re picking out meal items. People are being encouraged to get together outside of the dating site and not develop comfortable non-committal online communication patterns. That’s a good thing, because chances are, dragging out an online relationship before meeting generally yields unrealistic expectations.

 

No Game-Playing

Daters are getting wise to the game-playing, some of which can take place online but is also present in traditional dating opportunities. They have learned to more quickly identify these behaviors, not buy into them, and refrain from using them themselves … behaviors like:

Ghosting. Breaking off a relationship by ceasing all contact without any apparent warning or justification. Also, avoiding and refusing to respond to a former prospect’s attempts to reach out or communicate.

Breadcrumbing. Sending out flirtatious, non-committal text messages that are not well thought out, with the goal being to lure a sexual partner. Basically, it’s leading someone on.

Gaslighting. A form of emotional abuse where the intent is to get a prospective partner to question their instincts, feelings, and even sanity. Usually, this occurs over an extended period.

E-maintaining.  Keeping in touch via emails or texts with the intent to keep a person hanging on after a first, second, or third date … just in case.

Vulturing. Becoming much more romantically interested in someone when you sense their relationship is about to break up, and swooping in to court them, taking advantage of their vulnerability.

 

New Technology

Virtual matchmaking continues to evolve. A whole new level for determining “chemistry” is available. So, if we don’t want to leave it completely to a gut feeling, now we have access to physical tests.

New ways to separate the wheat from the chaff and find an ideal mate – or just a date – are being offered.  Some singles are making dating decisions based on DNA matches. Some companies offer compatibility tests based on cheek swabs.  (And you thought getting a DNA test was only for determining if the child is theirs.)

How about holographic dating? A company in Belgium offers holographic video conferencing. This service consists of capturing the bodies of two people moving through space and letting them play around in that space. The meeting can take place at a preferred computer-generated location. A couple downsides are that faces are partially covered up by goggles and there is no physical contact – so you can’t go off arm-in-arm or give your date a goodnight kiss.

If that sounds a little creepy or way too futuristic for your tastes, a less techy video conferencing option allows you and your date to watch concerts, movies, or video clips together. For security, some apps can crop out backgrounds and other images to keep your exact location private until you develop trust and move on to the next level.

 

Being Choosy

We are certainly becoming more sophisticated daters. We’re learning that we don’t need to latch on to someone new and hang on for fear they are our best catch, the best we’re going to do. We respect ourselves too much for that.

We’re recognizing fatal flaws and deal-breakers. We feel more justified with our dating decisions when red flags pop up; for example: flirting with others while we’re out on a date, or having opposing political or religious views. On the other hand, we tend to give them the benefit of the doubt and a second chance to make sure we’re getting a clear sense of who they are.

Our date may have nailed down that first impression, but as we start to notice red flags within the first month or so, we listen to our heart and trust our instincts.

We’re not moving in together as quickly. We will if and when we’re ready and definitely not just to relieve financial stress. The dating industry came up with a clever name to describe this dysfunctional tendency, by the way: “cohabadating.”

 

Honest and Self-Directed

Overall, the current trends in dating can be summed up with the words “honest“ and “self-directed.” We are being more above-board with ourselves and with new encounters and relationships, not just taking cues from others. We take our time to get to know someone. The majority of the time – with or without outside help – we are finding our true north, our internal compass, unique to us, which will lead us to a fulfilling relationship.